I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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