Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
