come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
