Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Randomize
