im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize