I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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