so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
