Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
