If i come over, it means nothing
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
