Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
