420 ftw
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
