3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
