I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
