she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
