I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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