It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
