Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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