My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
