I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
