she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
