what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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