On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The ass gains better be worth it
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