She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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