I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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