u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Randomize
