So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
