just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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