What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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