singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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