I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
