He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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