I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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