I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
