Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
