I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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