There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
