I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
