I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
