last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
