If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
