North Korea, Best Korea!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
