she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
