I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
