She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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