She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
