Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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