she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How does it feel to date your dad?
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
