it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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