Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
When did angry sex become our thing?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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