Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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