I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
whose parrot is this?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
