I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
