I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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