I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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