Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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