Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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